What’s so great about bimbos you ask? Or, perhaps some of you scratching your heads and asking what in the heck is a gosh-dang bimbo anyway? Well, just in case some of you have been cloistered in a monastery for most of your adult life or on a fifty-year journey to Neptune, I’ll tackle the second question first. A bimbo is a female, always a female and never a male. The male version of a bimbo would be referred to as a himbo or maybe a mimbo. The bimbo is usually, but not always, a young woman with blonde hair, an ample bosom and about as bright as that flashlight that has been sitting in your junk drawer for the past two years. Anna Nicole Smith, God rest her soul, was a bimbo.

Now some of you may be thinking that if Anna Nicole Smith was a bimbo, then what’s so good about bimbos? Others may be thinking that Anna Nicole Smith was a pretty darn good substitute for Viagra. Still, there are lots of pretty women in the world and I think most would agree that pretty and smart is better than sexy and stupid any day of the week and twice on Sunday. Well that may be true if you’re smart yourself and maybe just a little rich not to mention handsome—an intelligent gal might go for that combination. But what if you are just some blue-collar slob who has more hair on his back than he does on his head and finds word-search puzzles a little too tricky?

If you’re the typical guy then a bimbo really is heaven sent. If you happen to be Joe Slobowski and you show up at the bowling alley with a bimbo on your arm, the other guys on your bowling team are going to think you’re John Travolta. And no matter how stupid you might happen to be, anything you say to a bimbo will make you seem like Albert Einstein, at least in her big fawn-like eyes.

Another good thing about bimbos is that when they say something stupid, (How can it be a first down when they already had a down?), its usually kind of cute because that’s what is expected of them—sort of like when a baby makes goo-goo sounds. Also, when she does something bimbious, like wearing black panties with white pants, well, that’s a pretty good indication she isn’t going to say anything negative about your pit-stained bowling shirt.

Have you ever tried, or have had this line tried on you? Did you know that sixty minutes of sex would burn up a weeks worth of calories? Guys, if you have been striking out with the more refined ladies lately and are looking for an easy score, you might want to try that line out on a bimbo. If you are a gal and you don’t believe that losing a couple pounds is reason enough to have sex, well, there is a good chance you aren’t a bimbo.