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Before moving on to the part of my entry that tells a little about the work being done in our woods, I want to tell you why the SAD mood is listed above. Yesterday, I mentioned my NanNan, who has been having some health problems lately, most of them related to her mental deterioration. Today, we got some news on what the problems might be.
As expected, the doctor believes NanNan has Alzheimer's, which is what we expected. Her deterioration has progressed very rapidly, though, and she has other problems as well. NanNan fell one day recently, but she didn't seem hurt. Later on, after noticing that her Mom was dragging her foot, Di brought her to the doctor. X-rays indicated that nothing was broken or otherwise the cause for the dragging of her foot. Today, the doctors tell a different story.
From what Di said when she called, it seems NanNan was given either a CAT scan or an MRI, and the pictures showed a fracture of her hip. At her age and condition, no rehab or surgery can be done. In addition, NanNan has a rather severe bladder infection, so that is causing an added problem and discomfort for NanNan, I'm sure.
Having gone through something similar with our Dad, I know what Di and Rich are going through right now. It's hard to do the right thing and still feel good about it when you're making decisions for your parent. I have seen the care that Di and Rich have given to NanNan, and they have nothing to reproach themselves about. These things happen, and the only thing we can do is make what we feel is the best decision for everyone. That is why we had to have Dad admitted to a nursing facility. Mom couldn't handle him any more, and all of us were either away from them physically or just couldn't handle Dad either. So is the case with NanNan.
Faith is so important at times like this, when we know we have to be strong and yet, we hestitate because we feel guilty about not taking care of our parents at home. I am a strong believer in faith, the idea that faith is believing in something we cannot see, with the results being seeing what we believe--God is with NanNan, as He is with our Dad. He is there for Di/Rich and He is there for us. I also believe that God never sends us more than we can handle WITH HIS HELP, so we have toask, beg, pray for that help. He WILL send it, and we just have to be willing to accept it graciously. Oh, yes, it's hard to admit that we are not super beings, that we are HUMAN beings, with all the limitations that come with it. And we also have to admit when we reach those limitations, even if it means putting our parents in the care of others. When we don't have TOTAL responsibility for the day-to-day care, we are much more able to provide that special care that our parents need and that we want to give--the care that includes visiting, calling, chatting, bringing special foods--whatever we can do to make their lives better BEYOND the physical needs that they have.
My Dad doesn't even realize where he is most of the time, but his eyes light up when any of us stop by for a visit. He doesn't talk much, but what he says with his eyes says it all--he loves us, and he knows we love him. When you get down to it, that's what the parent/child relationship is all about!
Hang in there, Di and Rich! As you know, I've "been there, done that" with Dad. It's the hardest thing I ever had to do, but today, I have absolutely no regrets. Dad is living the best life he can live--and so are we. In addition, we now have more strength to attend to the needs of our Mom, who, though not suffering mentally, has many physical problems. We have been blessed to have our parents here so long, and we can only do our best with regards their care. AND YOU WILL, TOO!
Please keep NanNan, Dad, Mom, Di/Rich, and my siblings and myself in your prayers.
Today, we took a ride to the woods and took a couple of pictures, as you can see. Things are moving along back there, slowly, but surely. Sid spoke with the "head man" of the workers, and he assured Sid that the woods will be exactly like we want them when they finish. Of course, the woods will NEVER be exactly the way we want them to be because of the devastation, but it will definitely be better.
Have a great evening and a wonderful tomorrow.
"One can savor sights and sounds more deeply when one gets really old. It may be the last time you see a sunset, a tree, the snow, or know winter. The sea, a lake, all become as in childhood, magical and a great wonder: then seen for the first time, now perhaps for the last. Music, bird songs, the wind, the waves: One listens to tones with deeper delight and appreciation--"loving well," to borrow from Shakespeare's seventy-third sonnet, "that which I must leave ere long."
--Helen Nearing
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