I turned 60 in July. I find I have been extremely retrospective since.

I have become old, lonely and somwhat angry since my husband died. I do not understand this. I grieved the right way( according to all the books) I kept a journal for a year. I went back to school and got my degree. I worked with the elderly. I had a boyfriend. Then a few years ago I began to withdraw from life. No friends, no boyfriend. Menopause was not kind to me. I gained weight. I quit smoking and gained more weight. I became more of a recluse and concentrated on my grandkids. I quit playing bridge. I quit going to the senior center. I quit going out, period.

Why do the women who don't even appreciate there spouses still have them? Why did I have to lose mine? Pity became my middle name. I became very sad. I have lived with my daughter since my husband died, nine years ago. I have never lived alone. I take care of the kids and the house.

Have any of you ever felt this way? I  questioned God on this subject and have recieved a few answers. I need to get over the pity party and I need to get my own place. So I am moving in a couple of months to a seniors only apt complex. Wish me luck!  I will continue to post my progress.

Dobee