Whatever you do don’t be honest when filling out a health insurance application. I made that mistake. I told them that I only had half a thyroid (with no cancer) acid reflux and mildly elevated cholesterol. One week later I received a letter from the company informing me that in no way under no circumstance without exception would they pay one penny for ANYthing medically related to these three conditions.

So the two types of medication that I take are not covered and having regular checkups to help regulate these conditions are not covered. As a matter of fact the last time I went to my doctor’s office when it came time to pay the gals behind the glass screen I announced that I would pay cash even though I have health insurance “because my insurance doesn’t pay for SHIT!” A knowing roar of laughter radiated through the office while I pulled out my stack of twenties.

About six months after I acquired my personal health insurance with...well let’s just say it rhymes with GOLDEN RULE I received a very personal letter congratulating me on being with this company telling me how delighted they were that I had signed on with them and that they would be upping my monthly premiums by about $100. Who ARE these people??

I’m for health insurance reform...ANY type of reform because I whipped off a response letter to theirs informing them that I would be upping my deductible from $2500 to $83 214.00! So basically I now have a catastrophic insurance plan for which I am paying an arm and a leg and which covers pretty much NOTHING!

Arrrrrrrrrrgh

KK

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I hate health insurance people. They’re like cockroaches. They’re everywhere and they’re really good at hiding in dark places especially when you’re too sick to seek them out and stomp on them.

I have a five-thousand-dollar deductible and the only way I can think of to win this game is to schedule one million dollars worth of high-end surgeries in one year before the deductible starts all over again. That’ll show ‘em.

Let’s see what surgeries should I have? I’ve got really ugly bunions on my feet there’s a persistent rash on the side of my nose and I’ve never had a hysterectomy. I could have my liver reconstructed or maybe get a pace-maker just for fun. I want to make them pay!

Uh oh. KK just told me that I’d have to pay twenty percent of all of that. Never mind.