| Taxation on Toilet Paper | |||||
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Several years ago, several of the night nurses and I went out for breakfast after work. While we were waiting for our breakfast, the morning headlines in the local paper got our attention. I can't remember the exact details. It was something about a tax that everyone decided the local politicians must have had a few too many cocktails when they came up with the idea. It seemed like everything was taxed somewhere along the line. “Heck, the might as well tax sex if they are going to go that far.” One of the older nurses said, “but then you would never get the truth from any one. We would soon have a nation of virgins.” “Well, they are increasing the tax on everything in the grocery store and that's not fair. Next thing you know they will be taxing toilet paper.” everybody got quite. “Yep, I bet it’s just a matter of time.” Well folks, I thought about this several times since then and somehow I really don't think it’s a bad idea. Personally I can't think of a more fair tax. It is really one of those taxes that you can almost “select “how much tax you would want to pay. Every man, woman and child would be paying his or her fair share. Every visitor coming into our jurisdiction Even illegal aliens would have to pay, no matter what country or planet they come from. Everybody uses toilet paper. Some people use more then others. Low-income people buy the generic or cheaper toilet paper. Those with extra money buy designer toilet paper in the perfect color to match each bathroom. They will pay extra if it is angel soft, fluffed or puffed and it has cute little designs on it. Even children have their own toilet paper with their favorite characters just waiting to be used as an aid to toilet training. As nurses we assist patient in the bathroom. This includes the very young, the extremely old and every one in between. Certain observations have been noted. Many older folks will tear off a few squares, fold it, use it, fold it again and then discard it. Young men especially like to show their strength by yanking the toilet paper so hard the roll spins around like the big wheel on THE PRICE IS RIGHT. Heck, they pull off so much paper you would think they were going to wallpaper the room! Most ladies will take just enough, no more and no less. Ladies fold their toilet paper and men wad toilet paper. Those who “fold” use less, “waders” use more. Now lets talk numbers. I live in a small town in Eastern Texas called Palestine. We had 17,783 people at the last count. I am sure two or three had died and we have had several babies born since then, so lets say 18000 for an easy to work with number. Average home has at least 1.5 bathrooms. Over 60% of our population was born in another country. Some pay taxes and some don't. The average cost per person would be about .08 a week this comes to about $4.16 a year per person. Some Americans who travel to other countries take toilet paper with them. Everyone will be taxed equally. If there was a tax of .05 per roll on toilet paper and the average person uses a roll and a half of toilet paper a week. That is 18000 people x 1.5 rolls of toilet paper x 52 weeks x .05. a roll. That come too $70,200. We have 9 motels and about a dozen schools and 2 colleges within our city limits. All of these have bathrooms, which people use from outside our area. This income is not included because of incomplete data concerning the number of bathroom, average occupancy etc. I’m sure some Federal Funds covers some of the toilet paper purchased by these facilities. It might be included in the Student Loan Program. People who work out side the home use bathrooms where they work and the employers would be paying for the toilet paper and the tax. Medicare, Medicaid and private insurances would be paying the tax for residents in Nursing Homes and other health care facilities. I am sure some of these funds would be use conveniently to cover the .05-cent tax. After we see how this works on the local level, we can try it statewide and after that we can expand to nation wide. I realize it would take a lot of toilet paper to clean up the mess in Washington, but on a large scale it sure could get to the bottom of our national debt. |
