Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the fairest one of all?

The answer to that enduring fairy tale question isn’t necessarily always so easy to come up with. The mirror isn’t consistently all that cooperative, or kind for that matter. Actually, the mirror can be down right cruel.

Have you ever had one of those days when the mirror wouldn’t flatter you no matter how hard you tried to please the looking glass? You can put on your best outfit, cleanest shirt, sharpest tie or apply a half a can of hairspray to your unruly mop and all the mirror will give you is the blemish on your chin or a bloodshot eye. Sometimes it seems the mirror will only allow you to see the imperfections plastered on the glass version of yourself.

I’ve come up with a solution to the problem in the form of vinyl cutouts that can be temporarily affixed to the mirror similar to the Colorforms toy that we all have probably owned at one time in our lives. If you wake up and are feeling adventurous and all the mirror will give you is Popeye, no problem, all you have to do is stick the plastic cutouts from the Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom set, the whip and safari hat are included, on the mirror and you will be ready to spend the day searching for missing treasure, or the toenail clippers, whichever you happen to be missing.

There is also a Wonder Woman kit for the ladies, which comes complete with a golden tiara, a lasso of truth and indestructible bracelets. Believe me when I say there isn’t a man alive who hasn’t had a Wonder Woman fantasy. My company has in production at this very moment kits for Elvis, Marylin Monroe, all four Beatles and Muhammad Ali. We even have one for Popeye that comes complete with a sailor hat, a pipe and a can of spinach for anyone who actually wakes up in the morning and is feeling like the sailor man.

All I need now is a name for my product; Colorforms is already taken so I was thinking something along the lines of “The New Me” or “Be Somebody Else Today.” As always, suggestions are welcomed.