Watching the opening ceremony to the 2008 Olympic games I saw a China that I had never knew existed¡ªit was one of the most breathtaking exhibitions that I have ever seen. The Peoples Republic of China has sure come a long way from the days when all the men wore puke green army uniforms and the women all donned black robes and straw hats (d¨¯u l¨¬s) and looked like they had been carrying bundles of hay around on their backs for eighty years.

Today¡¯s China is much different. It seems that they have moved out of the 19th Century and jumped right into the 21st, skipping the 20th Century entirely.  The style of the day for men is now Aeropostle and Abercrombie and Chinese women no longer look like peasant farmers¡ªtoday¡¯s Chinese woman is downright hot. The Chinese people are rapidly becoming Americanized. They even produced a crazed, knife-wielding maniac to make a special appearance for the games.

One thing I couldn¡¯t help to notice was all the smiling Chinese faces in the crowds at the Olympic events. In spite of the lack of political or religious freedom and draconian laws they must obey, the people somehow manage to be happy, or at least are putting on a pretty good front. However, it is my suspicion they are faking happiness under threat of punishment. I¡¯m willing to bet that the Chinese government has a special police unit, The Smiling Face Squad that monitors the television looking for anyone that doesn¡¯t appear to be deliriously happy and proud to be a citizen of the People¡¯s Republic. If they find someone who isn¡¯t smiling I¡¯m thinking that person will be receiving a visit from the authorities.

I saw you on TV, why you not smile? Are you unhappy you get to go and watch games? Maybe you will be happier working in coal mine?

Well, politics aside, I think the games in China may have been the best ever. Admittedly I pretty much stick to watching the women¡¯s events; beach volleyball where bikini clad women roll around in the sand and jump up and down a lot, and synchronized diving where after each dive the women shower together, but I had to watch the men¡¯s 4x100 relay race after Frenchman Alain Bernard predicted the French relay team would ¡°smash¡± the Americans. I¡¯m glad I watched it as it turned out to be the highlight of the games. I have just one question for Monsieur Bernard¡ªare you an idiot or what?