In Milwaukee the police lead a handcuffed man into the police station. He was middle age and looked like he had been on a good drunk. Two weapons were brought in as evidence. A short-barreled shotgun and a handgun had lead to his arrest. He shot his lawn boy! No I am not talking about the kid that cuts his grass. I mean his Lawn Boy. He shot his lawn mower. He said he would tell the truth. It was his Lawn Boy, “ it wouldn’t start. He was angry. I was his lawn mower and his yard and he had a right to shoot it if he wanted too.”

Well, stop and think about it. I bet half the men in the world has thought about shooting a lawn mower, a car or other motorized piece of equipment. These men own the doomed machine; they own the guns and have a right to bear arms. They are good shots and they are not endangering the lives of anyone else, or anyone else’s property. So if they want to, why can’t they shot the machine?

Patience has a limit even among the most tolerant person. Nothing is more aggravating then to plan on doing something and have a hunk of metal mess up those plans. When a few choice words of prayer, a few threats and maybe a little corporal punishment has not resolved a stubborn machine’s malfunction. A man can easily be pushed over the edge. Women are capable of the same thing but they are more likely to ask a man to try after all their efforts have failed. This act usually passes on the responsibility to the man. He is the one who is most likely to carry out the death sentence.

This is not limited to lawn mowers. It can include chain saws, and any other piece of equipment.
Remember the ropes that were used to “pull start” tillers? Well my Dad had one and the rope broke. Well I think my Dad was ahead of his time because a few days later I found the tiller   hanging in the barn…. with a small chain and the same rope that broke, it was a ghostly vision hanging from the rafters as its wheels hung motionless.

It seems that with a little intestinal fortitude supplied by an abundance of alcohol. Wednesday morning, Mr. Walendowski went into his house and came out armed with his trusty short-barreled shotgun, his side arm, lots of bullets and a stun gun. Like the cowboys of old, he took a stance. He probably gave the lawn mower one more chance to start. When that failed, he took aim and put his trusted Lawn Boy out of both of their misery. The ping of the first bullet told him it was only injured and since he didn’t want it to suffer. He knew the manly thing to do was to bring its demise as quickly as possible. So he shot it again and again and again. I don’t think he used the stun gun. Maybe he had it just in case the lawn boy fought back.

The sound of gunfire broke the peacefulness of the quiet neighborhood. Gunfire can mean the difference in live and death. The repeated burst of fire brought neighbors out of their homes not knowing what to expect. They came to see what had caused the threat that had resulted in such a serious reaction by one of its citizens.

Mr. Walendowski stood over the mangled body of the lawn mower with a smoking gun in his hand. There it was!  As its air filter lay motionless on the ground, it was definitely dead. A post mortem indicated that it died of multiple gunshot wounds

I hear that Dick Wagner of Wagner’s Garden Mart was reported as saying, “since the factory goes not recommend shooting a lawn mower, the warranty was void”.

If he is convicted, Mr. Walendowski faces the possibility of $11,000 and six years and three months in prison. He is charged with possession of a short-barreled shotgun, and disorderly conduct. I guess if his lawn mower had not been a John Deer they would also have charged him with shooting a deer out of season.