About this time of the year we consider new bathing suits. I remember a time when I put a little and I do mean a little black two-piece suit that looked like it was held together with laced shoestrings. It had criss-crossed “shoe strings on both sides of the bottom and the top was more shoe sting then material.  I remember feeling a little embarrassed by some of the looks I got even with a decent cover up. I had no doubt that I wore that bathing suit well.

That was then! This is now! At 65, the choice of a bath suit is limited, but for gosh sakes isn’t there a bathing suit that looks like a bathing suit and not a weird dress? I am looking for something that will not show my cellulite I want my tummy to look nicely flattened and my butt perfectly shaped. I want the top to lift and to stay up when I dive. I have had a few failures in that department and you can only stay in the water so long. After awhile people seem to notice when you are up to standing in water up to your armpits with your arms crossed over your chest.

After going to several shops and looking at several bathing suits I finally decided on one. I went in to the dressing room and took the one-piece suit off the hanger. It was suppose to be designed for short, busty women with a wrap-designed top. The drape effect looked good and the little flirty skirt was modest so I tried it one. Well I was standing there looking at my image in the mirror suddenly I saw another person in the reflection.

No longer was the image I had of my self looking back at me.

As I braced myself by placing one hand on the wall to slip my leg into the bathing suit I noticed my biceps had fallen. My arms which have always been well shaped suddenly had bye-bye muscles, you know the kind that looks like a bat wing  that keeps waving after YOU stop. My skin was still good; I could use some of that sunless tanning stuff and a nice bright polish on my toenails but who tattooed the blue road map on my ankles?

While I was in the dressing room with the three-way mirror I stood there and looked at how my body has betrayed me. With the help of those helpful mirrors I realized most of it was done behind my back, especially around my bottom. I decided I needed to call attention somewhere else besides to the exposed areas. After all there is only so much diet and exercise can do. Maybe if I grew six inches taller I could fix some of these problems but that’s not likely to happen.

I thought maybe I could use the latest fashions recommended for the full figured woman but then that didn’t get far. The legs were cut too high; I really didn’t want to show my surgical scar.
I considered a bright color, maybe a yellow or orange but then I might be mistaken for funny shaped beach ball. Besides that those colors made me look more pale and washed out, I want to swim not be given CPR. Next I tried on a black and then a navy bathing suit but that much of a dark color was depressing. I tried on a green one and somehow the word “Watermelon” came to mind and then I thought about the word.”Froggy”I didn’t want to be considered either a frog or a watermelon. After trying on a couple more I still had not reached a decision. I thought maybe I need to draw the attention away from the things I didn’t like; I was running out of ideas.

As I stood there with the three-way mirrors I played with different ways to wear my hair. I decided if I pulled it to one side and braided it maybe I could divert the attention upward away from everything from the waist down. I was standing there looking in the mirror, trying to smile and look pretty; all at once I saw it! It was indeed a moment of divine inspiration.

It was a hat. Not just any hat. It was a huge hat. It was big. It was almost as big as a small umbrella and it was all happy colors. It was bright and cheerful. It was so bright and cheerful; I think it could be spotted from the space station. Everyone would see my beautiful hat and smile. I don’t think they would care what I looked like in a bathing suit. I put on my jeans, tee shirt and sandals, whipped out my debit card and checked out. I was very happy with my choices and myself.

So off to the beach I went and I ended up in the first bathing suit I had tried on The colors didn’t subtract from the my beautiful hat and everyone who saw it mentioned how happy it made them feel in fact some people almost laughed out loud. I also noticed that no one seemed notice anything else but me smiling, and my wondrous hat. No one noticed how I looked in the bathing suit.