It’s an unpleasant task to be sure. Immersing one amongst the estrogen oozing babes of bargain hunting can be nerve racking to say the least. It’s definitely a chore that men are better suited for but one that was defaulted to the ladies when men turned from hunting or growing their food to earning a paycheck.

Seriously, how hard can it be to pick out a pair of shoes? Not to mention a purse, a top, otherwise known as a shirt, or a bra. For the vast majority of women just going out to pick up these few items will turn into a daylong adventure.

Well ladies, the good news is that I am here to help teach you the proper was to shop—the man’s way. After all, in the natural order of things men are the hunter-gatherers. Can you imagine a group of cavemen standing next to a herd of wooly mammoths with one hand on the hip and the other on the chin pondering which beast would best suit the tribe?

“Ork thinks the one with curly tail is nice, but one with long tusks has more meat—me get one with long tusks…no, one with curly tail. No, long tusks…hmm, no, one with curly tail.” You get the picture.

Here is all you need to know about shopping. First, before you even leave the house, develop a plan. Make a list of all the items you intend to purchase; include sizes, colors and brands. This will significantly narrow the search. Then download a map of your area and highlight the stores you will need to visit in order to gather all the items on the list.  Then map out a route that will take you by each store; be sure to avoid making turns against the traffic if possible.

In reality, all of the things on your list can probably be gotten at Wal-Mart but I know better than to expect a female to limit herself to one store. That will come in time, when you are ready for a more advanced course on shopping.

Once you get in the store find a clerk and tell him or her exactly what you are looking for. For example; a pair of black high heels, size six. The clerk will disappear for a few moments and then like David Copperfield, will reappear holding the exact item that you had requested. Assuming that you didn’t lie about your shoe size, you won’t even have to try them on.

This method will apply to just about anything on your list so simply repeat the process at each store and you will be home in time to wash a load of laundry and cook supper.