Son called last night after a long period of relative quiet. He used to call several times a week and has always confided in me more than the girls have. I've known things that I really didn't want to know about his life.

Since I was diagnosed with cancer, he's been distant; calling only rarely and coming to see me just once. I assumed it was because he didn't want to see me sick. My daughter-in-law is opinionated, and was, I intuited, not in agreement with the way my cancer was treated. I don't recall her ever inquiring about my well-being or showing any interest in my situation, even when I went to visit them. She's very driven and ambitious, a degreed radiology technologist who about a year ago was promoted to director of the radiology dept.'s computer systems as an administrator working M-F, 8-5, instead of shift work. She also teaches part-time at her alma mater. Perhaps she suggested to my son that I was over-reacting. I don't know. He's very proud of her and respects her medical opinions. My son didn't finish high school, but has risen to the corporate level in his profession after years of hard work, job changes and travelling all over the globe. He's financially successful but it never seemed to be enough for her. I think he feels a little inferior and perhaps not entirely comfortable with the doctors and medical professionals that comprised her social circle.

I believed his wife was good for him because he tends to let money get away from him while she's more miserly. The few times I was around them, I noticed that she had become short tempered,  impatient and verbally unkind. Her response to their conflicts was usually to tell Son he needed to move out, which he did in December. I got the impression that he felt I liked her so much that I wouldn't be supportive of him. I wasn't as big a fan of hers as he thought I was, but I kept my negative feelings to myself. It wasn't my place to judge or comment on their relationship. 

He told their 7-year-old son that Mom and Daddy had some problems to work out and that Daddy was moving to another place nearby. He told the boy that he would be five minutes away and if he ever needed him, even in the middle of the night, all he had to do was call. He and the boy are very, very close. When Son went to get his things, the boy started crying and Son reminded him of what he'd told him earlier and reassured him that he wasn't going away forever, he still loved him and would be there for him . Mom interrupted with, "No he won't. He's leaving us. Do you understand that? He's leaving us forever." My son said that was the closest he'd ever come to punching a woman.

I'm surprised to hear that my daughter-in-law reacted that way because she's intelligent, educated and devoted to the boy. I've seen signs of jealously on her part in the past over the closeness between the boy and his father, and what appeared to be efforts on her part to over-compensate at times by giving the child material things.   

They quit coming here for holidays before the boy was born; spending them instead with her family. Their once close relationship with my son's daughter by his first wife completely deteriorated. It's almost like my son had some little imp on his shoulder, whispering things in his ear that kept him stirred up and resentful.

Son has been unhappier than I had suspected, behaving out of character for a long time. He changed from a caring, affectionate, happy-go-lucky person into acting like an angry, grumpy old man. He's big, 6-3 and over 200 lbs, concerned with physical fitness. He worked out, was muscular and maintained a 34" to 36" waist. On his 40th birthday in April, he was becoming overweight and flabby and walked liked a tired old man. 

I told him I was sorry things were going badly for him, that I loved him and supported him no matter what. I asked him to bring the kids to visit. Maybe things will improve for him if he sees that we're all still here and still love him, however this all turns out. 

In the meantime, these two kids are being hurt.