| Good Old Sex | |||||
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Who said just because we're getting old we have to stop having sex? Where is it written that the sex can't be just as fulfilling as it was when we were young? Sure, we aren't as limber as we once were, our bodies aren't as lithe but think of all the practice we have had. You put two seventy-year-olds together and that is like, over a century of combined lovemaking experience--assuming they both waited until they were twenty to start having sex. So what if we've added a few wrinkles to our once taut skin, or have less hair in places we were supposed to have it and more hair where we were never intended to grow it? Less teeth, or maybe no teeth at all? That's a bad thing? Maybe we have gained a little weight and lost some flexibility, or perhaps we tire a little quicker than we once did. Those are not reasons why we can't and shouldn't have unbelievable good sex. They make light switches for a reason; so they can be turned off as well as on. There is no reason why we need to see every age spot and each splotch of eczema on our age-worn skin. Television light is all you really need anyway, and the blue hue that is cast from the Panasonic can be every bit as romantic as warm glow of an open fireplace. Plus, most televisions can be connected to a DVD player in case you need a little more visual stimulation than your partner can provide. And let's not forget; there are a plethora of drugs, creams and mechanical devices out there all designed to make you bigger, moister, last longer or just plain hornier than you ever were in your youth. They can be purchased online and delivered to your door in an unambiguous package wrapped in plain brown paper. Your neighbors will think you have just ordered another Hummel figurine, or an Emmett Kelly plate. Don't think your brittle bones can take the pounding? No problem; get yourself a few extra pillows. Only the limits of your imagination will prevent you from discovering where to place them. Another thing you may want to consider is purchasing a therapeutic spa, pool or hot tub. I bet with a note from your doctor you may be able to get Medicare to help pay for it. Imagine, you and your lover sitting naked in the hot tub watching a steamy video on the Panasonic while you sip Geritol from a wine glass. Does it get any better than that? So enough of sitting around feeling sorry for ourselves trying to remember the days when sex was hot, steamy and maybe even a little dirty. Let's fire up those imaginations, go online and purchase our "figurines", rent that nasty little video, fluff up those pillows and start having sex again--good old sex. |
